Some people live their entire lives without changes that affect the way they look at photos except with maybe age, moving to a new place or having new people appearing in them. I’ve had a few that are definitely before some big event and after. Some are more subtle. If I had chronological photos of Rod over his last 2yrs you can slowly see the changes he went through. The slow weight loss that became much more apparent as time moved forward.. His hair and gauntness while going through chemo and radiotherapy. Others are practically instant. When I went from long bushy hair (thanks to a permanent) to no hair at all from my dance with cancer. And now photos of Noble, my 12yr old cat who lost a leg due to a very bad break. Now when I look at his pictures, I look to see if he has two front legs or only one. And so it will be from now on. As I write this, a photo of Noble just appeared on my little screen below my monitor. He’s sitting upright looking bright and with his one leg in the middle of his space (that’s got to make for a lot of muscle and joint changes with his remaining shoulder). I’d say he doesn’t complain, but he does – just not about his leg. His complaints are about food and when he wants out the door and I’m not moving fast enough on either of those fronts. I wish I could be more like him. Accepting of circumstances, but I’m not. I’m neither content nor angry. I just can’t accept that I have much more on my long list of things I need to do than what I can actually accomplish in one day. There’s that, and the deep loneliness of having had such a great relationship, someone to share life’s little and big moments with, the in-jokes all the fun and all the hugs. And then one day, it’s all gone. And there you are, alone in a quiet world.
4Jul21 I went for a walk around the block. I got just around the corner when I stopped to let my legs get back to normal. I love how these footprints, which are several years old have a glowing look to them. #2021pad #walkaroundtheblock #footstepsincement #sidewalkart